The Official Hawaii Five-O Drinking Game

The typical TV-show drinking game involves equipping everyone with a glass of beer (from an approximately endless supply); that will also work with The Official "Hawaii Five-O Drinking Game, but for maximum enjoyment we recommend that players have fruity drinks like planter's punch, ideally served in a coconut with a little paper parisol. Be there. Aloha.

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT

 1. Anyone at Five-O calls anyone else "bruddah:"            SIP.
 2. McGarrett calls his assistants "gentlemen:"              SIP.
 3. McGarrett refers to his secretary Jennie by name:        SIP.
 4. McGarrett calls the Governor "Sir:"                      SIP.
 5. McGarrett calls Danny Williams "Dan-O:"                 CHUG.
 6. Anyone says "aloha:"                                     SIP.
 7. Anyone says "mahalo:"                                   CHUG.

OFFICE ETIQUETTE

 8. McGarrett hangs up on someone without saying "goodbye:"  SIP.
 9. The number of Five-O people standing around listening
    in McGarrett's office exceeds three:                     SIP.
10. McGarrett brings a chalk board, easel, or poster
    board into his office to help unravel the crime:        CHUG.
11. Anyone asks to be "patched through" to anyone else:      SIP.
12. McGarrett asks to be "patched through" to anyone else:  CHUG.

DETAILS, DETAILS

13. Five-O conducts an illegal search:                       SIP.
14. Five-O detains anyone illegally:                         SIP.
15. Five-O questions anyone without notifying them
    of their Miranda rights:                                 SIP.
16. McGarrett tells anyone he's "just a cop; not
    the judge and jury:"                                    CHUG.

ELEMENTS OF STYLE

17. McGarrett wears a suit with lapels more than four
    inches wide:                                             SIP.
18. McGarrett wears a tie with a knot more than two
    inches across:                                           SIP.
19. Anyone from Five-O wears a loud Hawiian shirt:           SIP.
20. Any woman wears a mumu:                                  SIP.
21. McGarrett wears a leisure suit.                         CHUG.

POLICE PROCEDURALS

22. McGarrett arrives at the scene of the crime, asks
    Danny or Chin Ho, "What have you got?":                  SIP.
23. Chin Ho puts his pipe in his mouth:                      SIP.
24. McGarrett goes to the Governor's office:                 SIP.
25. McGarrett goes to Che Fong's lab:                        SIP.
26. Someone from Five-O tails a suspect unnoticed
    from a discrete distance of one car-length:             CHUG.
27. Someone from Five-O keeps a suspect under
    surveilance unnoticed by sitting ten feet away
    reading a newspaper:                                    CHUG.
28. The sound of squealing tires is dubbed in for a
    car driving on the beach:                               CHUG.

MCGARRETT'S PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE

29. McGarrett mocks a feminist woman:                        SIP.
30. McGarrett mocks a feminist woman and later tries
    to score with her:                                      CHUG.
31. McGarrett lectures on the dangers of a free press:      CHUG.
32. McGarrett lectures about drugs:                         CHUG.
33. Anyone offers McGarrett a drink and he says
    "I don't use alcohol:"                                  CHUG.
34. Anyone disagrees McGarrett and then gets the
    smug treatment later when McGarrett turns out
    to be right:                                            CHUG.
35. McGarrett arrests some nobody who's technically
    broken some law but clearly isn't a criminal-
    type, and says, "I don't make deals:"                   CHUG.

CRIME ON THE ISLANDS

36. Anyone dies by falling/being thrown off a cliff
    into the ocean:                                         SIP.
37. The villain is a Mafiosa:                               SIP.
38. The villain is an amateur who is in it for the thrills
    and gets lectured about morality by McGarrett after
    being apprehended:                                     CHUG.
39. The villain is Wo Fat [Khigh Dheigh]:                   SIP.
40. The villain is L. A. Filer [Hume Cronyn]:              CHUG.

GUEST STARS

41. The guest star was unknown but became a popular film,
    television, or recording star in the 1980's or 1990's:  SIP.
42. The guest star was a film, television, or recording
    star from the 1950's or 1960s on the skids:            CHUG.
43. The guest star is William Shatner, Paul Williams,
    or Helen Hayes:                                        CHUG.
44. Any guest star gets to sing:                           CHUG.

JUSTICE PREVAILS

45. Someone from Five-O saves someone about to fall/
    be thrown off a cliff into the ocean, at the last
    possible minute:                                        SIP.
46. McGarrett himself shoots/captures the villain at
    the end of the episode:                                 SIP.
47. McGarrett helps a woman back to his car with his arm
    around her waist at the end of the episode:            CHUG.
48. McGarrett says "Book 'em:"                              SIP.
49. McGarrett says "Book 'em" and specifies the charges:   CHUG.
50. McGarrett gives steely-jawed grin as lock of hair
    falls across his squinty eyes:                         CHUG.

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