Jim,
-stim_file ... --stim_lag in 3dDeconvolve is very outdated now and it is not flexible compared to option -stim_times with which you can specify different basis functions for the HRF. I have trouble figuring out what's exactly going on with your situation since your description is a little sketchy. Instead of struggling with -stim_lag, try -stim_times and see if the problem would be gone. If it remains, upload the data to AFNI, and I will take a close look.
Gang